My cover is blown. Having come to terms with my problem, an intervention is not necessary. I’m ready to make a public confession. My name is Karen Friday and I am jealous.
I remember experiencing jealousy as early as elementary school. Two girls were the best of friends without wanting a third to join them. What friend qualities did I not possess? I didn’t like the boy who won the spelling bee—he gloated.
Through the years, I pretended to be happy for the girl who beat me out of the lead part of a play. The boy who was a show-off at a state oratorical contest and took home the top prize.
Jealousy began to rear its ugly head in many aspects of my life. Characterized as the “green-eyed monster,” jealousy has the ugly factor. Have you ever seen an attractive monster?
Two ugly and often secret components of jealousy:
- Exclusive desire. Wanting the “thing” not along with her but instead of her. To look the best or be the best. The award of recognition, the prettiest at the party, the pageant winner, the job promotion, the most valuable player in a sports competition, the highest score on the test, the most regal house in the neighborhood, the published article or book deal, and stuff that is bigger and better than his stuff. Jealousy protests the idea “there’s enough for everyone.”
- Insatiable desire. Like most monsters, jealousy has an appetite problem. You can feed her but it’s never enough. Past and present fulfillments are inadequate glories fueling my hunger pains for future desires. Jealousy protests the idea “there’s enough for you.”
Where did these desires originate? Biological, personality, and spiritual (corrupt) genetics are passed on to us from our ancestors. Adam and Eve were the first people and our first ancestors.
One thing that bothers me about Eve is she didn’t have competition in other women. Not at first. She was the main and only “babe” in the Garden. No other women for comparisons of outer appearance.
Other women were not around for making comparisons of a more suitable wife for Adam. Thoughts of “I bet he wishes he were married to her.” No women with desirable titles, possessions, or talents—at home, work, and church. I’m jealous of Eve in this way.
Adam had no rivals in position, macho-ness, stud-ness, men who could grow a faster and better beard, and warrior likeness. He had the market on chivalry.
But exclusive and insatiable desire entered the world—the protest “there’s not enough.” The woman (Eve) saw that the tree was good for food, and pleasing to the eyes, and could fill the desire of making one wise. Genesis 3:6 NLV
Desires that made the world their home.
All that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. I John 2:16 ESV
It didn’t take long for jealousy to come knocking on the door of comparison. Seeds of envy were planted and cultivated in the world’s back yard forming deep-seated roots.
Comparison precipitates jealousy. My eyes are looking at others and wanting what they have in material possessions or human qualities and characteristics.
Jealousy stunts growth. It holds me back in almost every area of life and spiritually. Jealousy keeps me focused on the other person and paralyzes me from moving forward in my calling, ministry, and life.
I have natural green eyes. A biological and dominant gene from my parents and ancestors. And I have green eyes of envy. A dominant gene every time I compare myself with another human being.
God designed and gifted me uniquely. If I keep my eyes on God, I am free to be me. Whatever your natural eye color, look at Christ. You are unique, free to be you.
When Jesus is my exclusive desire, I will not want Him along with worldly desires but instead of worldly desires.
Jesus is always enough. Jesus is enough for me.
© 2015 by Karen Friday
May 14, 2015 at 9:39 am | Uncategorized