My emotions have kidnapped my mind. My thoughts have been taken captive and are being held hostage. The demands are high. The only hope for release is The King’s ransom—pure, undefiled, full truth of the mind of Christ.
The words played over in my mind…I found myself in the same place again—obsessing.
“Obsess,” defined by Google dictionary, means to “preoccupy or fill the mind continually, intrusively and to a troubling extent. It takes control of, has a hold on, and is fixated on; to be consumed by.”
Obsessing fits well with my personality—perfectionist, overly organized, detail driven, and often self-critical. Recently I was obsessing…about ministry areas…about my physical appearance. My thoughts held hostage…
Ministry: As a pastor’s wife, I enjoy mentoring women—the privilege to disciple many women of various ages. Helping a young woman who has been troubled for some time and contemplated suicide has been particularly rewarding. I am thankful I can make a difference in the lives of women and it encourages me in my walk with Christ. My spirit was deeply wounded when out of anger and their own hurt, someone questioned my godliness as a Christian woman. Devastating words don’t want to exit once they have entered the deepest part of our heart. Even amongst positive feedback, one negative comment or thought creeps into my mind—in a moment—a kidnapped mind…emotions making the demands.
Physical Appearance: Our culture plays a role in this type of obsessing. I compare myself to younger women in the digitally-corrected magazine pictures I see at the grocery checkout or stroll past in the bookstore on my way to another isle. Sometimes these magazines come to my own mailbox—unsolicited. I often receive positive comments about my appearance of looking younger than my actual age. When someone made a derogatory statement to me in regards to aging—I obsessed. The words stuck in my head like a song that keeps hanging from a scratch on the disc. When I think, “you will never look good enough or be good enough,” I ask myself, “Who told you that?” Emotions created from disturbing words distort my viewpoint. Held hostage—the demands are always high and costly.
Wondering if I will ever escape this hostage situation, I ask the Lord for The King’s ransom—a redirection of my thought patterns and for him to refine my thinking with his truth. In this world my flesh suit will not be completely transformed into the image of Christ. But it can be changed little by little as I conform to the Word and not the world and as I renew my mind by taking obsessive thoughts captive. As I continually surrender my heart and life to the Refiner’s fire, allowing Christ to cleanse the impurities, he molds me into his image…where I have a spiritually-corrected picture of myself (Romans 12:1-2, 2 Corinthians 5:17, 2 Corinthians 10:5).
If I’m going to be obsessed—may it be with Jesus! Fixating on the cross and denying myself daily…to become more preoccupied with the Lord. A mind stayed on Christ continually, to an intrusive point, until he takes control of me and my mind is consumed by God himself.
Our God is a consuming Fire. Hebrews 12:29
© 2014 by Karen Friday
July 1, 2014 at 2:38 pm | Uncategorized