We’ve heard it said that all is fair in love.
But what does God say?
Is real love about fairness?
We often want our way in relationships and expect everything on equal ground. Yet what if true and unconditional love was never meant to be this way?
Even the term “unconditional” conveys no conditions or rules are attached. Google lists these synonyms: “wholehearted, unqualified, unreserved, unlimited, unrestricted, unmitigated, unquestioning.”
Since unconditional love does not keep score, then we can’t play the fairness card.
The truth? All is not fair in love, not in unconditional love.When we demand fairness in #relationships, we put conditions on #love. Click To Tweet
Extending unconditional love covers every kind of relationship: marriage, dating, children, siblings, extended family, fellow Christians, the unsaved, our neighbors and friends. Jesus also included our enemies.
We can love others even when we don’t like what they do or how they hurt us. But sometimes it needs to be from a distance and through prayers spoken over them. And the world says this kind of love is not fair or right.
Still not convinced?
Perhaps we need to revisit the greatest words ever written about love.
1 Corinthians 13 describes authentic and unqualified love.
Unconditional Love is:
- Rejoices with the truth
- Bears all things
- Believes all things
- Hopes all things
- Endures all things
- Never ends
Unconditional Love is not:
- Demanding of it’s own way
- Rejoicing in wrongdoing
Real Love isn’t Fair
If this list of characteristics prove true, and they do because they come from God’s Word, then love won’t always be fair. Unconditional love is anything but fair.
Glance back over the characteristics above. After reading them again, the word fair doesn’t come to mind…just the opposite.
For example, I would never demand fairness from my grandson, Foster, who’s only twenty-months-old. Why? Because I love him. And I’m the adult, he’s the child. But do I demand it of other adults who I also claim to love?Unconditional #love always trumps fairness. #blog Click To Tweet
When we require everything to be fair in our relationships, it paints the image of a child. “That’s not fair! I want what’s coming to me! You owe me big! Do for me what I do for you.”
Maybe we should ask ourselves if we love others like Christ loves. Or even if we love as Jesus loves us…loves the church.
Because our human attempts to offer godly love often fail miserably. We tend to mix and match our own ideas on love with what God says.
Yet, God takes no delight in us adding our own opinions to what He’s already said. When we attempt to qualify love, we cease to love God’s way.
Still further, 1 Corinthians 13 lines up with the rest of the Bible.
Love’s Full Picture
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” John 15:13 NIV.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” John 3:16 ESV.Because God's #love didn't consider fairness, He chose me and saved me. #blog Click To Tweet
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God” 1 John 4:7 NLT.
“‘And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these” Mark 12:30-31 NLT.
So, you see, fair and love were never meant to be used in conjunction with each other.
To demand fairness is to destroy the intent of real love. And there’s this…If fairness counted in #love, Jesus suffered and died for nothing. #blog Click To Tweet
Questions to Consider:
Am I patient and kind to my family members?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how often do I bear all, believe all, hope all, and endure all?
In my closest relationships, do I let rudeness and demanding my own way lead during conflict?
Can I come to a place of rejoicing even after hearing the truth spoken to me?
Join the conversation: Which characteristic of God’s love from 1 Corinthians 13 do you celebrate the most?
Read more about love God’s way, You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling.
Pictures are of me and my grandson, Foster. Design by Adobe Spark.
Descriptions from 1 Corinthians 13 are taken from the ESV.
© 2017 by Karen Friday, All Rights Reserved
September 21, 2017 at 10:00 am | Uncategorized