How I Learned Not to Go on Guilt Trips
We weren’t created to experience guilt trips. But we learned to send ourselves and each other on these unpleasant excursions because sin entered the world.
First, let’s look at desirable trips.
Maybe a planned or spontaneous travel schedule. Perhaps our favorite vacation spots. Possibly, places familiar or unknown. Or, traveling abroad. And a voyage by sea.
Also, guided tours, historical landmarks, the mountains, a natural wonder, the beach, tropical climates, and soaring altitudes.
Still further, there are resorts for sight seekers, adventure junkies, and tourists of all shapes and sizes. Crossing out a bucket list item—going somewhere we’ve never visited.
Even people are labeled trips.
Whatever the mode of transportation. Whether a one-way-trip or round-trip. Short or extended stay. It’s movement toward a point of destination. A journey for recreation, relaxation, and getaways—a means to escape.
Learned Guilt Trips
Sometimes we go on trips and land somewhere we’d rather not visit. The worst trips ever.
Guilt trips qualify. Guilt trips make us painfully aware of being stuck in an unwanted place. So we feel it deep inside. A restless, unsettled state of wishing we were home—back to familiar surroundings. A safe place.
Maybe, like me, you learned to navigate your way to a guilt trip often. A well-acquainted road clearly marked. A recent destination on our GPS-Global Positioning System.
Guilt tracks the route to position us in the same place each time—shame, disgrace, dishonor, and self-condemnation.
Acting as travel agents, we make arrangements for others to go on guilt trips and allow others to take us there. Because family, friends, co-workers, and more, fall in the “others” category.
Tripping we pray doesn’t turn into a long pilgrimage to pay homage to the person causing the trip. And stowaways, manipulation and control, come along for the ride.
We even send ourselves off to this undesired port of call as if part of an itinerary. Bidding a farewell less than celebratory.
Throughout our lives, attempts will be made to book us on a guilt trip. But it’s a trip we don’t have to take.
A “do not” Checklist for Guilt Trips
- Do not accept the invitation.
- And do not schedule it on your calendar.
- Absolutely do not secure a passport.
- Remember, do not confirm reservations.
- Finally, do not pack your bags.
And…it is absolutely vital you discard any carry-on luggage. Stow nothing in guilt’s passenger compartment. Guilt always meets customer service standards, “Your baggage fits perfectly here for safe keeping and easy retrieval when you arrive at your destination.”
Learned Trips in Christ
For years—on a regular basis—I checked into The Guilt & Shame Inn. Although you may see me there on occasion, I’m no longer a frequent guest.
Today you will find me as a guest in Freedom’s Motel. God is the owner. He alone books and confirms reservations. God cancels reservations on present and future guilt trips.
Don't check into The Guilt & Shame Inn. God is the owner of Freedom's Motel. He alone books and confirms reservations. God cancels reservations on present and future guilt trips. Click To TweetThrough Christ, we have our HPS-Heavenly Positioning System. A navigation system set in motion simply by answering His call, “Follow Me.” Here we are positioned for forgiveness, blessing, honor, and grace. A place of spiritual cleansing and freedom.
Through Christ, we are positioned for forgiveness, blessing, honor, and grace. A place of spiritual cleansing and freedom. Click To TweetSo let’s take a pilgrimage to the promised land. An all-inclusive spiritual resort with pre-paid accommodations lasting forever. There’s an eternal feast at God’s banquet table. Bask in The Son and enjoy the beautiful surroundings. There are no farewells and we will give worshipful homage to the only sacred, deserving One. God.
Learned Freedom
“I will cleanse them from all the guilt of their sin against me, and I will forgive all the guilt of their sin and rebellion against me” (Jeremiah 33:8 ESV).
“…offering Himself accomplished our cleansing of sins and riddance of guilt, He sat down at the right hand of the divine Majesty on high” (Hebrews 1:3b AMP).
We learn to love and forgive ourselves and others as Jesus forgives and loves us all. No more guilt trips. Click To Tweet
We learn to love and forgive ourselves and others as Jesus forgives and loves us all. No more guilt trips.
What about you? Do you check into The Guilt & Shame Inn often or have you learned about Freedom’s Motel?
My husband and I love to go on “fun” trips for our YouTube Channel, the featured images are from a Gatlinburg, TN trip, Friday’s Forever.
Last week we discussed, A Special Valentine Invitation: Will You Be Mine?
Sometimes I participate in these link-ups:
Legacy Linkup/Inspire Me Monday/Tell His Story/Recharge Wednesday/Let’s Have Coffee/Tune in Thursday/Heart Encouragement/Embracing the Unexpected (Grace & Truth) and Faith On Fire.
© 2022 by Karen Friday, All rights reserved
No guilt trips for me, Karen! I want to check into God’s Freedom Motel where the sights and sounds are delightful and fulfilling each and every day. Just love the analogy you’ve given us here today.
Blessings!
Thank you, Martha! Freedom’s Motel is one amazing place to be still before the Lord and let him fight for us! God bless!
Amen! Avoid the guilt trips. Satan has booked me on far too many of this guilt-laden excursions; and he tries daily to invite me on others. Like you, I’m learning that I don’t have to accept his word for it (I remind myself often that he is the “father of lies”, John 8:44). And the invitations are sometimes so subtle (e.g. a friend wants to offer a “constructive criticism”, that in reality is a direct assault on your joy and faith). So often, supposedly well-meaning friends allow Satan to use them to plant seeds of Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt (FUD) into our lives. If we let them. As your much-encouraging words above explain, it’s up to us to decide if we want to take that trip or not. What a great post Ms. Karen. Thank you so much for the great tips ma’am.
Thank you, J.D. I’ve always liked your FUD expression becuase it’s so true. But when we compare the enemy’s guilt trips to the pilgrimage to the promised land, it’s a no-brainer.
Let’s take a pilgrimage to the promised land. An all-inclusive spiritual resort with pre-paid accommodations lasting forever. There’s an eternal feast at God’s banquet table. Bask in The Son and enjoy the beautiful surroundings. There are no farewells and we will give worshipful homage to the only sacred, deserving One. God.
Love this analogy, Karen. Once we’ve asked forgiveness, He doesn’t bring it back up. It’s the enemy trying to use that incident a second time to trip us up!
The enemy is good for that, too! Satan plots to keep us feeling the guilt that is clearly under the blood of Christ when we repent and ask for forgiveness. And when we ask others to forgive us, the enemy sometimes uses people to keep us shackled to guilt if we let it.
Hmmm…this is interesting. I absolutely agree we should not camp out in Guilt. Jesus paid for that sin! The enemy wants to keep us chained to Shame and camped out in Guilt. And that is not the Father’s desire for us!
However, guilt and shame are not synonymous. There is a biblical place for the initial twinge of guilt when we have sinned. It drives us to confession as we’re motivated to deal with anything that interferes with our intimate relationship with the Father. Still, you are right – there’s no need to stay there once we’ve confessed it and received God’s cleansing forgiveness (1 John 1:9).
Love the travel analogy!
I know what you are saying, Ava. Shame is different than guilt. We can certainly be guilty of a wrong and be forgiven and not have to carry that shame any longer. I like what Christine Caine expressed in a Bible study. Basically, how people say, “Shame on you.” But God says, “Shame off you” because Jesus took on our guilt and shame to purchase our freedom with his blood!
Great message and analogy Karen. I learned sometime back that I prefer real trips to guilt trips, they are much more fun.
They are much more fun, Yvonne. May we focus on our pilgrimage that leads to the Promised Land.
I’m a frequent guest of guilt. Thanks for the refreshment on the side of the road.
You’re welcome, Nancy. Let’s keep checking into Freedom’s Motel. God bless!
What a beautiful post, Karen! This was timely, and I’m so grateful that you decided to address this topic at this very moment, right now. The Lord has blessed me by providing me your words as I approach a difficult situation.
Oh, Melinda, I’m so thankful for your comment and it blessed and encouraged me that the Lord used this to minister to you. We all need reminding of how we were never meant to live and dwell in guilt and to go on guilt trips. Or, to send others to these undesirable place. I pray we allow the Lord to remind us daily of our freedom in Christ.
I sometimes find myself on guilt trips, but I don’t want to go on those anymore. Thank you for this encouragement, Karen!
Me and you, both, Jessica. “…offering Himself accomplished our cleansing of sins and riddance of guilt, He sat down at the right hand of the divine Majesty on high” (Hebrews 1:3b AMP).
What a needed message! The guilt trips can take over at times. Yet, when I pause and ask the Lord for help, He reminds me guilt is not from Him. Amen.
That’s true, Melissa, guilt never comes from the Lord. When we belong to Christ, we’ve been washed clean of “all our guilty stains.” 🙂
Great article and analogy. God wants us checking into the freedom motel, not the guilt motel. It really is our choice whether we jump on the train to guilt land or call on God and head towards the land of freedom.
It is a choice, isn’t it? We get to choose to live and walk in freedom in Christ or let our lives be ridden with guilt. So thankful for our Heavenly Positioning System.
Oh, my! The guilt trips. I’ve struggled with this my whole life. Lately, it’s helped me to remember that 1) I’m not alone in it; 2) it tends to happen more at night, so I can stop myself and say “hold on…wait til morning”; and 3) those feelings are not from God.
Great points and reminders, Ashley. The Lord took our guilt on himself on the cross. When I remember this one great truth, it seems a bit ridiculous to even go on a guilt trip. God bless!
[…] Last week’s article, How I Learned Not to go on Guilt Trips. […]
“Guilt tracks the route to position us in the same place each time—shame, disgrace, dishonor, and self-condemnation.” So very true. May we remember our position in Christ – forgiven – and He remembers the past no more.
Joanne, my GPS needed a break from guilt trips, and is more and more letting my heavenly positioning take over, positioned for forgiveness, blessing, honor, and grace. A place of spiritual cleansing and freedom.