How to Move Past the Past to the Present
The only purpose in looking through a window of the past is to open doors to the present and future.
One time my dad hit another vehicle from behind on an interstate entry ramp. You know why? He looked back too long without breaking or checking traffic in front of him.
Are we looking back so long our past crashes into our present and threatens our future?
Because this always keeps us at a stand-still, unable to move in any direction. Nobody just zooms into the present without detours, obstacles, or entry and exit ramps. And no one just stumbles into God’s newness and purposes for today without first getting over her past.
Maybe we spend years, even decades, holding on to painful memories and never making peace with the past.
Sure, we learn from the past. Yet, we were never meant to stay there—to let the past set up residence in our heart.
So let’s look at how to move past the past for authentic relationships, a joyful present, and a grand anticipation of the future.
(1.) Promptly deal with conflict.
Until we at least attempt to resolve riffs in our relationships, we continue to connect past heartache to present tension. For example, we may withdraw or hold a grudge because there wasn’t any closure to the “thing” that happened yesterday, last month, or years ago.
But nothing swept under the rug really helps anyone. Instead, it only causes us to keep tripping over the same issue.
Resolve to make the first move to talk about what happened. Sometimes this may require a waiting period, depending on the details. Still, not dealing with it or waiting too long, only extends the damage and thwarts healing.
Consider answering this question in our heart, then with the people involved. What are some steps we take personally and together to keep this situation or hurt from happening again or make it less damaging? Work toward how to come up with solutions for the present.
If others refuse to deal with the conflict, stay committed to reconciliation—when possible. It’s wise to set boundaries for protection of further injury.
But as we commit to walk in kindness and compassion, it may rub off on stubborn hearts. Remember, we are able to move past the past even when others choose not to.
(2.) Graciously Forgive and Ask for Forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the only agent that puts out the fire of bitterness. When we forgive, it smothers the tiny spark formed in the beginning stages of hurt, and extinguishes any wildfires already set ablaze.
#Forgiveness is the only agent that puts out the fire of bitterness. When we forgive, it smothers the tiny spark formed in the beginning stages of hurt, and extinguishes any wildfires already set ablaze. #PastvsPresent Click To TweetSince we need forgiveness when we mess up, we forgive others. And there’s no continued negative attitude or behavior on our part. Instead, we give grace and peace and love.
God commands His people to forgive. But realize emotions always follow the obedience, and they may never come. We may never “feel” like forgiving. Therefore, I practice saying it out loud daily for as long as it takes for full forgiveness. “I forgive _________.”
Then, I pray. Lord, I forgive __________. Help my feelings follow my obedience to You. But even if the emotions never come, give me grace and strength to always extend forgiveness as an act of obedience to You. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
(3.) Frequently release hurts in exchange for freedom.
We have a choice to fill in those hurt spaces from the past with time well spent in the present. Even the conflicts that were never discussed or resolved. This seems undoable. And in our own strength, it is!
But, Christ gives us the do-ability to let things go and place them at the foot of the cross. It’s in the letting go where we live in the freedom God meant for us to experience on the Christian journey.
Christ gives us the do-ability to let things go and place them at the foot of the cross. It’s in the letting go where we live in the #freedom God meant for us to experience on the Christian journey. #PastvsPresent Click To TweetFreedom in our present circumstances. Freedom when all is well and good. And freedom in the middle of our pain and suffering.
Finally, letting go of the past brings freedom that removes the shackles our past places on us.
Move Past the Past
Only look back to see how to move forward with God’s promise.
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert” (Isaiah 43:18-19, ESV).
Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV Click To TweetThe only past we embrace is what Jesus accomplished for us in the past. Look at Isaiah 53:4, “Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows” (ESV). A prophecy years before being fulfilled in Christ and past tense. Jesus has already won the victory over the grief and sorrow of our past.
Is it hard for you to move past the past? Which of the 3 ways speaks the most to you or tell us one of your own in the comments.
Congratulations to Melissa Henderson who won our giveaway last week, Rebecca’s Hastings book, Daily Meditations for Christians.
*Read more about hope for the past, present, and future.
*Sometimes I participate in these link-ups:
Legacy Linkup/Literacy Musings/Tell His Story/Purposeful Faith/Recharge Wednesday/Worth Beyond Rubies/Tune in Thursday/Heart Encouragement/Embracing the Unexpected/Faith On Fire and Faith and Friends.
© 2020 by Karen Friday, All rights reserved
Great post! Our church has a class in place that teaches people how to be free from strongholds. We teach forgiveness and repentance. Basically how to move pass hurts while forgiving and allowing the Lord to heal. Healing changes you.
My sister and I had not talked for years. The Lord asked me why I wouldn’t admit she had hurt me. When I could admit I needed healing, He healed my heart. I was able to forgive her and reach out to her. Our relationship is better now than in the years before our argument. God is good. He will heal us emotionally so He can restore our relationships.
Hey Stepanie, The class at church sounds powerful. So grateful you and your sister were able to reconcile. God is our restorer and healer.
Somehow our crazy brains believe that if we hang onto a hurt we are maintaining control over a situation. Thanks for the thoughts on letting go and finding freedom there.
True, Michele. But the hurt ends up controling us. Letting go of the past brings freedom that removes the shackles our past places on us.
No, we can’t remain in the past, Karen, but we can always use it as a springboard to step boldly into the future, with lessons learned. Forgiving others, even when they don’t ask for it, is key for healing and embracing the moment.
Blessings!
Martha, forgiveness is never easy whether it’s asked for or not. But that doesn’t change our command to freely give it, for both the offender and our own sake. God bless, sister.
Excellently Written, I just led my group through a discussion of “Let it Go” Release to our Great God.
Very well said Karen, Especially the part of “frequently release hurts” that is key to getting stuck.
Thank You!!
Thanks so much, David. Your group discussion and study sounds like a powerful message. Grateful Christ gives us the do-ability to let things go and place them at the foot of the cross. It’s in the letting go where we live in the freedom God meant for us to experience on the Christian journey.
God bless!
I pray I will learn from the past and not repeat mistakes. I am thankful God forgives me and gives me chance to try again. 🙂
Amen, Melissa. That’s a great perspective and prayer for all of us.
Like you sweet friend, I have a hurtful past. It took decades to overcome the damage done to a young psyche, but with God’s help, I learned to forgive both others and myself. It sounds funny to some to say they had to learn to forgive themselves, but it is oh so true. Not because I did things to warrant the extent of abuse, assault, and torture (mental and physical) I endured, but I had to learn to forgive myself of the hatred, clamor, and ill will I held towards those who perpetrated these heinous acts. It was in learning to fully forgive, that God removed the pain from the memories. I haven’t forgotten my past, as sometimes there are daily reminders, but the pain is gone so it’s become lessons in my life I can draw on. I pray God continues to help me learn to be more patient, loving, supportive, and encouraging. I pray He continues to do the same in your life ma’am. God’s blessings.
J.D., You had such a great depth of hurt you had to overcome and forgive. So thankful the Lord redeems us and our story for His glory. And, I agree, whether we made the mistake or sinned, or we harbor hatred and bitterness, God intends for us to forgive ourselves. When we say, “I can’t forive that person for this.” Or, “I can’t forgive myself.” What we are saying is we have higher standards than God, and even though He freely forgives me and everyone, I’m limiting His ability to help me forgive others AND myself. Because the strength to make peace with the past and to move forward, only comes from the Almighty!
Karen,
These are timely and true words for our troubled world. Oswald Chambers wisely said,”Let the past sleep, but let it sleep in the bosom of Jesus.” Forgiveness is part of this. Clicking over to share this on Hungry for God’s Facebook page today.
Lori, I love that Oswald Chambers quote. Never heard it before. I’m letting it sleep in the bosom of Jesus. And thanks for sharing! Appreciate you!
Hi Karen,
In our Sunday school class, we are doing a unit called Love Like You have never been hurt. Your post is timely in an age where drama online and in schools/workplaces are not just theater anymore. If we as a people made forgiveness and repentance priority, I believe more would know the freedom Christ bought for us. Thank you, sister.
Hey Julie, I like that title, “Love like you have never been hurt.” Such good truth! I pray making forgiveness and repentance a priority starts with God’s people…with us! With our present world, who needs anything else to be held captive to? Not me!
It amazes me how often something from my past will just jump into my mind and disrupts my thoughts. It is so important to deal with our past and give it to God so we don’t lose sight of our future. Thanks for sharing this helpful information.
That’s a struggle we all face, Yvonne. The enemy wants to remind us of the past so it keeps us stuck from moving forward. Thanks for adding your input.
Letting go is where we find the freedom He intends! The third point grabbed me most, today. Thanks for this wisdom Karen!
Appreciate you commenting, Bethany. Yes, I pray to let go of anything I’m holding onto but Jesus! Blessings!
It takes so much emotional work to hold onto our pain about the past. There is freedom and beauty in forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean erasing, but it’s just a conscious letting go and an act toward agape love. I love your point: “Frequently release hurts in exchange for freedom.” Amen!
I agree, Jessica. It’s tireless to carry past hurts as burdens that weigh us down. It’s so limiting in our lives and often stifles our present relationships. Walking in forgiveness is the key to real freedom.
Karen, I need this reminder regularly. Thank you for writing this powerful message! I love this line: “The only past we embrace is what Jesus accomplished for us in the past.” I pray that I can let go of past hurts, disappointments and personal failures, that God can use all of this to re-shape me into the image of Christ and grow my faith into a beautiful display of his glory. As I move forward with Him into the future He has planned. Beautiful message of healing and hope!
Thank you, Melissa. So thankful for what Jesus acccomplished for us in the past to cover our sins and offer grace and forgiveness, redeem and restore us and our story, and this includes the past. Thanks for your input.
Dear lady, you do have a heart for GOD. (our very own Jesus The Christ)
Appreciate your encouragement and kind words of support, Jerry. It means a lot. Christ in us, the hope of glory. (Colossians 1:27) God bless!
I am so thankful that God gives us the chance to try again and learn from our past!
I am too, Julie. The Lord really helps us overcome the past fully and completely and intentionally to move on!
I feel like all three are essential. I don’t think I could pick one that is particularly more important than the others for me. For many years I struggled to let go of bitterness over grievous actions that harmed me in life-changing ways. Experience, for me, informs me that it takes all three. When one, two, and three are carried through with a sincere heart, very seldom will we end up struggling with bitterness and an inability to forgive. You’ve dissected the sacred art of forgiveness very well!
Melinda, I think all three are intertwined as well. However, dealing with conflict is one some people refuse to do. It’s sad because they would rather hold onto the conflict and carry it into the present and future. What an unnecessary burden! When I’m in this situation, I keep praying the person’s heart will soften to deal with the issue for the sake of the relationship and peace. Yet, when the request is still met with refusal, I forgive regardless, and I am able to move on in my own life.
Yes, we can’t live in the present until we deal with the past. “no one just stumbles into God’s newness and purposes for today without first getting over her past.” Such good truth here. Until we heal those old hurts, stamp out those old lies, heal from old shame, we keep getting triggered and it affects our present.
Like how you said this, Theresa: Until we heal those old hurts, stamp out those old lies, heal from old shame, we keep getting triggered and it affects our present.” The Lord never meant for us to dwell on the past, it certainly keeps us stuck. Thanks for your insight.
Looking backward to sort through our story is important so that we can learn through the experiences and eventually release them, so that we are freed to live today and look ahead. Dealing with issues is what we are called to do – to speak truth in love and grace. And then we are called to forgive with the same level of forgiveness that God shows to us. These are high callings and to achieve them we must focus on them and especially with forgiveness, repeat them until our hearts are able to feel compassion and forgiveness rather than resentment and being stuck. Thanks for the post Karen.
They are very high callings, Anne. And the only way we can speak truth in love and grace, truly forgive and offer compassion is the model of Jesus. His example on the cross in asking the Father to forgive, for they knew not what they did, stays at the forefront of my heart.
This is deeply practical advice, Karen. I especially like #3 because it’s not intuitive but so true and applicable. And this is profound: “It’s in the letting go where we live in the freedom God meant for us to experience on the Christian journey.” God truly wants us to live in freedom, yet we lock ourselves up because it’s so hard to let go.
Thank you, Stephen. So glad the Lord gives us the do-ability to let go for freedom because He truly is able to pull it off in and through us!
Release hurts in exchange for freedom. The second part of this is the part we forget when we hold onto things. Great post.
Lauren, I try to release everything I’m holding onto except Jesus.
Tearing down the strongholds is something that has to happen every so often. We don’t realize how much our past can follow us around. Great post.
Right, Nancy. The past can follow us like a shadow that’s always there and never goes away. Tearing down those strongholds helps us live in complete freedom.
Karen,
I keep wanting to move out of the past with my adult kids, one of whom seems bent on holding on to past grudges and hurts. I have asked for forgiveness for my part in all of this and want to take hold of the new thing God is doing in my life. It’s hard when others want to keep dragging you back to the past. Not sure what to do when others prefer being and staying angry vs. moving forward with conflict resolution. It takes two to want to work together. So, I’m doing what I can in the one life I can change – my own. Great truth and advice here!
Blessings,
Bev xx
I’m sure you do, Bev. As I have tried with a relative. It hurts when others refuse to move forward and let things of the past go. I’m sure it weighs heavy on the Lord’s heart as well. So sad. Yet, the Lord is helping me move past the past even when others choose not too and keep praying and reaching out to them. We can’t control the choices of others, only our own and keep asking the Lord to soften their hearts and seek peace.