Arrive at a Better Place in Your Relationships
Like traveling to a specific destination, our relationships are an intentional journey. And as with any journey, we need to map out where we hope to go and how we want to arrive somewhere better.
So when it comes to our spouse, children, extended family or friends, it’s not about the popular phrase, I’ve arrived.
Because we never attain perfection in relationships. Instead, the process of becoming stronger in key relationships requires us to evaluate and define how we arrive to desirable places.
Here are a few ideas on how we A.R.R.I.V.E.
A – Advance to Arrive
Advance means to move forward. Each day is a new opportunity to advance our relationships.
For example, a bank account won’t grow unless we put money into it. In the same way, our relationships cannot grow without focused input. Are we making more deposits than withdrawals in our most important relationships?
Action points: Determine daily acts required to move toward a desired destination in our marriage. Discover what our kids need most from us. Deposit love, kindness, forgiveness, compassion and goodness into our relationships.
Determine daily acts required to move toward a desired destination in our marriage. Discover what our kids need most from us. Deposit love, kindness, forgiveness, compassion and goodness into our #relationships Click To TweetR – Regard to Arrive
Google defines regard as consider or think of; attention to or concern.
Philippians 2:3 challenges us, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (NASB, emphasis mine). It’s not easy in the flesh. That’s why the Lord instructs us to walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:25).
When we regard our spouse in this way, it moves our marriage to a better place. And regarding our friends as more important than ourselves helps us lay down pride and arrive to a better place as a friend.
Action points: Consider our spouse as more important through what Scripture teaches about marriage. Concern for our kids gives them our attention as we walk in the Spirit as a parent. Care about our friends with a humble and self-less attitude.
R – Receive to A.R.R.I.V.E.
If we attempt to pour from an empty vessel our relationships suffer. But when we quiet and slow ourselves to be still before God, we receive His outpouring.
Spending quality time in God’s Word, prayer and worship positions our hearts to be filled with the Holy Spirit and treasures from heavenly places. Then we have something to give others.
Still further, unless the Lord fills our cup, we have nothing really substantial to offer anyone. But the overflow from Jesus spills over into our relationships.
Action points: Still our heart before the Almighty as our number one relationship to boost our other relationships. Sacrifice our to-do list to mediate on Scripture and spend time with God so our time with others is more meaningful. Satisfy our soul with Jesus then pour into our loved ones from the overflow.
I – Invite to Arrive
How many invitations do we send out to connect with others online while our closest relationships get the leftovers?
Merriam-Webster describes invite as to request the presence or participation of.
Perhaps we invite our spouse to watch a movie when the kids are in bed or to take a walk instead of getting on social media. Maybe we play a board game, dance to music or have a conversation with our children/grandchildren.
Action points: Practice being present with people on the other side of a table or room rather than the other side of a screen. Participate in activities that invite intimate conversation. Plan invitations to promote togetherness in person.
Practice being present with people on the other side of a table rather than the other side of a screen. Participate in activities that invite intimate conversation. Plan invitations to promote togetherness in person. #relationships Click To TweetV – Value to Arrive
The Cambridge Dictionary states value as the importance or worth of something for someone.
Bottom line: What we value, we work on, invest in, honor and cherish.
Therefore, we view our spouse, children, extended family and friends as people of worth.
Action points: Invest the best of our time and energy into the people in our lives. Illustrate importance through honoring and cherishing our spouse, kids and friends. Imitate Christ in placing value on others.
E – Entrust to A.R.R.I.V.E.
Google defines entrust as “assign the responsibility for doing something to (someone); put (something) into someone’s care or protection.” A synonym includes “hand over.”
By entrusting our relationships to the Lord, we give Him control and put our faith and trust in God’s plan. Also, we regularly and consistently pray, “Lord, I entrust my marriage to Your care. I hand my children over to You.”
Action points: Relinquish tight reins on our relationships and give them to God. Release control over our marriage and children. Recognize the Lord created relationships and He knows best how to care for and protect them.
Relinquish tight reins on our relationships and give them to God. Release control over our marriage and children. Recognize the Lord created #relationships and He knows best how to care for and protect them. Click To Tweet
What part of A.R.R.I.V.E. spoke the most to you?
As we discussed last week, God fills our blank spaces, even in relationships.
Sometimes I participate in these link-ups:
Legacy Linkup/Inspire Me Monday/Literacy Musings/Tell His Story/Purposeful Faith/Recharge Wednesday/Worth Beyond Rubies/Tune in Thursday/Heart Encouragement/Embracing the Unexpected and Faith On Fire.
© 2020 by Karen Friday, All rights reserved
This is so powerful, Karen: “Release control over our marriage and children. Recognize the Lord created relationships and He knows best how to care for and protect them.” This is truly the BEST thing I can do for my relationships — give them to God!
Me too, Jessica. What God creates, He knows best how to manage and care for in the best possible way!
Value is the most important aspect. If we don’t let others know we value them, if we don’t feel valued, it’s impossible to move through the others. Great wisdom as always, Karen. God bless!
Great point, Nancy. What we value, we care for, work on, sow good things into, and so on.
I am thankful we can give our relationships to God. Releasing relationships to Him brings peace and calm. We do not have to control every situation. That is not our task in life. What a blessing to know He is in control.
Yes, Melissa. I pray we relinquish tight reins on our relationships and give them to God. Release control over our marriage and children. Recognize the Lord created relationships and He knows best how to care for and protect them.
Thank you Karen. It is so important to always work on our relationships and to pray for them. And thanks for the simple way to remember.
Yvonne, I pray we entrust our relationships to the Lord, give Him control and put our faith and trust in God’s plan. Also, we regularly and consistently pray, “Lord, I entrust my marriage to Your care. I hand my children over to You.”
I think “entrust” spoke the loudest to me today, Karen. We can’t grow and mature in our relationships unless we place everything in God’s hands first. He is the key when it comes to loving and appreciating each other for who they are. Blessings!
This is good, Martha: “He is the key when it comes to loving and appreciating each other for who they are.” Amen, sister. Instead of taking things into our own hands, we place them in the hands of the Almighty where they always belong!
I like the idea of moving toward desirable places in our relationships rather than I’ve arrived. We never do really ‘arrive’ as we want to continue to grow in our relationships. And uplift those around us. I’m thankful God built us for relationships even though they can be tough at times!
Lynn, I have a new way at looking at “I’ve arrived” more than ever. Realizing it’s something that never happens on the Christian journey or in our most beloved relationships. We simply ask the Lord to help us practice Scriptural truths so we “arrive” at better places.
Superb guidance, Karen! You addressed all of the important points of meeting the needs of others, being intentional, considering how to show our love, and thoughtfully moving the relationship toward deeper intimacy and affection, AND you also included the care for self that is needed to do this. So many neglect this, or at least they used to back in the day, leaving many of us older women flattened and chronically ill. Your message here is balanced, practical, and such a beautiful display of love in action, intentional, seeking the other, preferring others above ourselves, and sacrificing non-essentials for the most important relationships in our lives. This is Christ-like love.
Thanks for your insightful thoughts you added to the conversation, Melinda. We do need to be intentional, willing to do the work for relationships to arrive to a better place, practice self-care so we can love selflessly, and “display love in action.”
We still our heart before the Almighty as our number one relationship to boost our other relationships. Sacrifice our to-do list to mediate on Scripture and spend time with God so our time with others is more meaningful. Satisfy our soul with Jesus then pour into our loved ones from the overflow.
One of my favorite songs is “Just a Little Bit Better” by Ned LeDoux (Chris LeDoux’s son). It reminds me of my goal as Christian, husband, parent, and friend;; “Lord, help me to be just a little bit better each and every day.” Wonderful post, as always, Ms. Karen. Thank you ma’am.
Thanks for sharing, J.D. Don’t think I’m familiar with the song, but such a great lyric to apply to relationships!
Sing Hallelujah and Marantha Jesus-Yeshua Christ-Messiah SAVES Amen-Amein!!
Love Always and Shalom, YSIC \o/
Kristi Ann
A thousand Hallelujahs!
Karen, what a great acronym for remembering how to grow healthy relationships with family and friends. 🙂 Cool!
Glad this inspired you, Diane. God bless.
Love this quote:
“Practice being present with people on the other side of a table rather than the other side of a screen.”
So good!
And I ask the Lord to help me with this daily, Ava.
Great advice. When relationships are going well, we tend to think of them as static. But they need attention to thrive.
They certainly need our attention, Barbara. How sad when we hear kids say things like, “My father works a lot for our family, but all I really want is his love and attention.”
“Entrust “ is the one I struggle with the most. Having been hurt before in relationships, is difficult to hand the reins over to the Almighty as I prepare to get married. My fiancé trusts God implicitly, something I love about him and am learning from him.
That is difficult for most of us, Candice. The Lord gently reminded me how I never really have control to start with. Whenever we hand the reins over to God, He reigns supreme in our lives and our relationships. You constantly say encouraging things about your fiancé, sounds like a godly man.
Karen, this is wonderful! Such wise, compassionate and Godly advice. One of the most important points for me begins with this: “Still further, unless the Lord fills our cup, we have nothing really substantial to offer anyone. But the overflow from Jesus spills over into our relationships.” I have found that if I don’t set aside time for prayer and Bible reading, where the Lord can fill me up with His love and kindness, I end up feeling depleted by those who need my love. For me, this is key. We really do need to “determine” or be intentional with daily acts of love toward our family, especially our spouses and children. Oddly enough, because they are closest to us, sometimes they are the ones we take for granted before anyone else. Oh God, give us tender hearts and eyes to DAILY see our family with deepest love. Thank you for this beautiful post, dear sister!
Melissa, we do take those close to us for granted. And sadly, sometimes we treat them in ways we would never treat our friends or co-workers. It’s like we let our guard down and take things out on them that have nothing to do with them. The Lord showed me this years ago, so now I guard against it and try to look at my family in a scriptural way to really love them as deep and wide and high as possible through Christ.
Love this.
Thanks, Lauren. “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (NASB)
What a wonderful acronym to help us remember that relationships must always be intentional. They take work (lots of it). But we get an amazing ROI on our relationships–especially the ones that last long-term.
Lord, help us realize more every day that our ROI is the greatest and most valuable when we pursue relationships through love and how Scripture admonishes us.
oh i love a good acronym!! this ia such a good way to remember to make relationships intentional! Thank you for sharing this! so glad I found you through crystalstorms.me link up!
I love all of these principles and actions, Karen, but especially love the Receive one. Without Christ filling my cup, I know I would probably be divorced long by now! He’s the One who fuels my love for my husband when my love cup runs dry! Thanks for all you do to point us toward love in marriage and love in the Lord! Pinning and tweeting!
“When my love cup runs dry” great insight, Beth. Truth is, our cups are empty and we are running on empty if we can’t stop long enough for the needed filling that only comes from Jesus Christ. God bless, sister.
This is good, Beth: “He’s the One who fuels my love for my husband when my love cup runs dry!” So true! Truth is, our cups are always empty and we are running on empty in relationships unless we take the time to stop and let Christ pour into us before we can pour out!
Karen, how. I love this post! Each word of your acronym is spot on! As you shared about invite, the MW definition resonated. Inviting makes me think of face-to-face connection. An invitation is so much more meaningful when we’re looking at the person and focused on them. This is how we invite others into deeper relationship.
Great post!
True, Jeanne. I want to Practice being present with people on the other side of a table or room rather than the other side of a screen. Blessings!
I particularly resonate with the A in this season…just advance, maybe one tiny step in the right direction at a time. Sometimes that’s all I can do. But as long as we keep moving forward, we’ll eventually get there.
Lisa, that’s good, any step in the right direction in a relationship can only be positive and build the momentum.
[…] we discussed in last week’s post, loved ones investing in our lives adds value. Yet, when others decide we’re not worth the time, […]