How to Persevere in Marriage: 3 Scriptural Truths
Does the thought to persevere in anything seem exhausting to you?
Honestly, it does to me.
Look at this definition by Google and we kind of understand the hesitation, “continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success.”
See what I mean, this doesn’t sound pleasant at all.
But because the Bible portrays persevering as a spiritual aspect that’s important to help us in the rough parts of life and grow in our faith, you and I need to dig deeper in how this applies to our marriage.
First, you should know, “the face of difficulty” applies to the hard parts and difficult seasons of marriage that we all experience. It in no way means to continue in an abusive situation.
Also, if you are single, divorced or widowed, these scriptural truths apply to any relationship and basically to our Christian walk in many areas.
Here are 3 ways the Bible calls us to persevere.
Persevere in Doing Good
(1.) Never give up in doing good.
Sometimes you may feel like you are the only one in the marriage who is giving and doing, doing and giving. You reach a point that you want to give up.
Perhaps this includes all your responsibilities at home. Maybe the job of your spouse keeps them from actively participating at home in duties and with the kids. Or, your marriage is in a hard and strained season, and you think you can’t do this anymore.
Most of us experience these hard places and arrive at these same crossroads at some point in our marriage.
The Apostle Paul encouraged believers in Galatians to help carry the burdens of others and to do good to all people, this applies to our spouse. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
Continue to persevere in your marriage by doing good.
Produce Godly Character
(2.) Grow Your faith and godly character.
When you persevere in the midst of difficult circumstances, you grow in your faith. Your faith stretches your character to become more Christ-like.
This growth of faith can reach your spouse or children who don’t know the Lord personally.
It also encourages a believing spouse in their faith.
Your spouse will see Jesus in you like never before.
When I have persevered in the hard parts of marriage, my faith grew like never before.
“We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3b-4 (NIV)
Let perseverance work in you to grow your faith and produce a godly character.
When you persevere in the midst of difficult circumstances, you grow in your faith. Your faith stretches your character to become more Christ-like. Let perseverance work in you to grow your faith and produce a godly character. Click To TweetPersevere with Love
(3.) Love unconditionally.
Loving does not come naturally for people. You and I must learn and let the Holy Spirit work in us for what the Bible says love is and what love is not. Unconditional love was not part of our wheelhouse at birth.
God loves perfectly, so we let His love do a work in our heart and life to persevere in love. 1 Corinthians describes love as: patient, kind, not arrogant, never failing, not keeping a record of wrongs and rejoicing in the truth. Still further, “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7 (NIV)
God loves perfectly, so we let His love do a work in our heart and life to persevere in love. Love- “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7 (NIV) Click To TweetSince unconditional love always perseveres, it continues:
When your spouse seems distant.
When you feel invisible.
If you disagree.
When your spouse didn’t pull their weight today.
And if words hurt your feelings.
Persevere in your marriage through unconditional love.
Next Steps to Persevere
In thirty-seven years, my husband and I have faced hard seasons in our marriage. And when we chose to persevere in a biblical way, it made all the difference.
Reflect on what difficulties you face in your marriage and ask the Lord to help you in doing good to your spouse and loving in spite of hard circumstances.
Which point speaks the most to you?
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Last week’s post, 3 Ways Not to Forget God and His Works.
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Any relationship worth having is worth the work necessary to keep it healthy and growing!
Amen to that, Barb. I pray we let perseverance do a work in us and grow our faith. God bless!
You can’t have a workable marriage unless you’re willing to give one another that unconditional love and understanding. May we persevere through the good times and bad.
Blessings, Karen!
Agree, Martha. Love…“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7 (NIV)
Great article, Karen! This is always a timely topic. My husband and I have been married for 45 years. You would think that we’d have everything worked out and would seldom disagree. Ha! That is not the case, for we are both sinners. We still must work through times when we don’t understand where the other one is coming from as they present their grievance. We can still both be easily offended and thin-skinned, thus causing hurt feelings and perhaps an argument where unkind words are used if we don’t recognize that we’re headed that direction. Loving one another requires faith in Christ, time in the Word, and striving to love like Jesus does. We often fail, but we brush the dirt off ourselves and get back up again to try with the Lord’s help to love each other even better.
Congratulations on 45 years, Melinda. That is a milestone not many reach anymore. I like how you keep it real and note that you are both sinners. Culture wants to convince us that as soon as the marriage gets hard, it’s over. How sad that kind of thinking leaves no room for either person to work at the relationship and most importantly, let the Lord do a work in them. I like how you said, “Loving one another requires faith in Christ, time in the Word, and striving to love like Jesus does.”
Amen, perseverance doesn’t mean we won’t suffer through it, it means we have the courage to suffer through it. Another wonderful post Ms. Karen. With God’s help, we can have the courage of faith needed to persevere through every trial this life might bring us. God’s blessings young lady.
Amen to this, J.D., “perseverance doesn’t mean we won’t suffer through it, it means we have the courage to suffer through it.” It’s the suffering that does a work in us to make us more like Christ and grow our faith. That only helps us in our marriage and relationships! God bless!
Right on target.
I pinned this article and will share on my facebook.
Thanks for sharing this on social media, Mandy. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
A good, healthy marriage does take lots of work and Jesus must be part of it too. Thanks for the great advice Karen.
Yvonne, Jesus must be in the center and there’s no greater example of perseverance that Jesus Christ.
Relationships require patience, love, compassion, humility, and more. I am thankful that my husband and I have weathered storms and came out with a closer relationship. We’ve been married for over 43 years and grow more in love every day.
Melissa, congratulations on 43 years. The way you always describe your marriage, not perfect, but still together through the storms and sunny seasons. It’s authentic and inspiring!
We know we live in a broken, sin-sick world, yet we’re often surprised when that sin or brokenness manifests itself in our marriage and family. I think of perseverance as a gift. If I had not persevered through the difficult seasons of marriage over 4 decades, I would not have had the privilege of experiencing the sweet seasons of joy!
That’s a great way to look at perseverance, Ava! It is truly a gift when we consider those “sweet seasons of joy” it produces in us and our marriage!
So good. I saw a video clip yesterday about perseverance being like a pencil… it must be sharpened (sometimes painfully) to remain useful. Like Ava above, I too see perseverance as a gift.
I like that analogy to the pencil, Jessica. Thanks for sharing. If we can only see perseverence as a gift. Because the end result it produces in us is taking us to a higher and deeper place in our spiritual walk.
Great advice, Karen. The media presents relationships as idyllic and ephemeral. Perfect until they end, effortlessly. Good job preaching truth about how working through difficulties helps cement people together–for better or worse. Thanks and God bless!
I like this thought you shared, Nancy: “… working through difficulties helps cement people together–for better or worse.” Culture tries to teach us that when the going gets tough, just leave and get out as soon as possible. Thank goodness, the Lord reveals truth to us through His Word.
Love what you said about us not being capable of unconditional love. I never thought about it quite like that before, but you’re right. Only God is capable of unconditional love. I’m so grateful He chooses to work through us to accomplish more than we ever could on our own.
Thank you, Ashley. I pray God’s unconditional love that met us right where we were, does a work in our heart and life and spills over into our marriage and relationships.
You have made such a good point about love – “Unconditional love was not part of our wheelhouse at birth.” We learn and grow how to love like the Lord as we experience His love in us and towards us. I am grateful He chose to work in me and change me when I was at my worst.
I’m grateful for God’s work in my life too, Joanne. And it’s interesting to remember that the Bible never commands us to like anyone, but commands us to love everyone. 🙂 God bless!
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May I always persevere in doing good and loving my husband as unconditionally as I can. My spouse retired a month ago, so I’m needing to put all these things into practice on a 24/7 basis. 🙂
Lisa, I remember reading on your site about your husband’s retirement. I’m sure in a new season of marriage, it also brings new things to consider and necessary ways to persevere. God bless!
Hi Karen,
Congratulations on thirty-seven years! My husband and I have been married for twenty-nine and we’ve walked through several trials. Each of your points is so wise, but I particularly resonate with the last of them.
Thank you for linking up this week!
Blessings,
Tammy
Thank you, Tammy. Congratulations on 29 years! I pray that since the Lord loves perfectly, He helps us grow that as we persevere.