Practice Self-control with Every Fruit of the Spirit
Although self-control begins with the word self, we ourselves can’t nurture it, much less muster up the power to practice it. Because self-control is a fruit of the Spirit.
I’d heard about the “freshman fifteen.” But I set out with ample willpower to avoid gaining fifteen pounds as I entered my first year in college.
And you know what? I didn’t gain fifteen pounds. Instead, I think I gained a little more. Yikes!
Then, there were girls on the opposite end of the spectrum who starved themselves to be bone-thin. Self-control taken to an unhealthy level.
Whether it’s eating habits or ways we self-medicate to deal with deeper issues, there’s something we often fail to understand about self-control from a biblical perspective. We don’t possess the power to practice it, it’s only through the Holy Spirit.
Galatians 5 encourages us to walk by the Spirit, not to gratify the desires of the flesh (verse 16). The chapter provides a list of fleshly desires such as drunkenness, sexual immorality, impurity, rivalry, strife, jealousy, anger, divisions, dissensions, envy, enmity, sensuality “and things like these” (verses 19-21).
But here’s the stark opposite to the works of the flesh. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV)
I’ve often wondered why self-control is listed last. Have you?
Perhaps self-control is partly gained from allowing the Holy Spirit to grow and cultivate in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness.
So let’s compare and contrast the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit through reflective questions and thoughts.
Self-control practices love over jealousy and envy.
In what areas do I see jealousy and envy in my life? Ask the Holy Spirit to give me self-control to really love others, even enemies, instead of harboring jealousy. This type of love only comes through a relationship with the Lover of my soul.
In what areas do I see jealousy and envy in my life? Ask the Holy Spirit to give me self-control to really love others, even enemies, instead of harboring jealousy. This type of love only comes through a relationship with the Lover of… Click To TweetSelf-control desires true joy instead of false joy.
Fake joy numbs the pain through alcohol/drunkenness, emotional eating, drugs, including prescription drug abuse, shopping, and so on. How am I currently self-medicating? Ask the Spirit to give me true joy.
Self-control brings peace in relationships rather than strife.
Am I at peace with myself and the people in my life? Real peace only comes through knowing Jesus Christ. Where can the Prince of Peace work to bring peace to areas that need more harmony, not conflict, in my marriage and relationships?
Self-control grows patience to fight against anger.
Am I impatient while driving, standing in line, or with my loved ones? Does a lack of patience spur fits of anger in me with road rage, how I treat others in public, and my tone with loved ones? Ask for resurrection power to rise up over any anger in my life while producing a harvest of patience.
Kindness is self-control in place of enmity and dissension.
Am I often in hostile opposition to others, creating dissension between me and them? Whether it’s differing opinions and perspectives, self-control extends kindness, not hostility; kindness, not disagreeing in an unkind manner.
Whether it’s differing opinions and perspectives, self-control extends kindness, not hostility; kindness, not disagreeing in an unkind manner. Click To TweetGoodness is self-control gaining ground over impurity.
Do I struggle with impure thoughts? Pray for the Holy Spirit to replace these thoughts with goodness on a daily basis. Goodness is a virtue snuffing out impurity helping me to think on what is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, and commendable (Philippians 4:8).
Faithfulness is self-control battling idolatry and sexual immorality.
Lack of faithfulness in marriage results in infidelity. Allowing idols to take top spot over God results in idolatry. But self-control through the Spirit helps us remain faithful to our spouse and the Lord.
Gentleness is self-control instead of division.
Do others describe me as gentle or abrasive? Do I teeter between gentleness in dealing with others or causing division and discord depending on the circumstances? What does gentleness look like in my marriage, with my kids, and in my life?
Next Step
In a journal or device, or on paper, make a compare and contrast list of the works of the flesh versus the fruit of the Spirit. Evaluate where you need help in practicing self-control and ask the Holy Spirit to help you.
Although self-control begins with the word self, we ourselves can’t nurture it, much less muster up the power to practice it. Because self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Click To Tweet
In this post, we discuss growing in the fruit of the Spirit every year: 21 Areas of Focus for Christians in 2021
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Legacy Linkup/Inspire Me Monday/Tell His Story/Recharge Wednesday/Let’s Have Coffee/Tune in Thursday/Heart Encouragement/Embracing the Unexpected/Candidly Christian and Faith On Fire.
© 2021 by Karen Friday, All rights reserved
In this volatile world – self-control for me is my tongue. Whew.
That is a hard one, Susan. One of my parents used to say I always had to have the last word…especially when I was a teenager. And I’m the person who likes to put my opinion out there. Praying the Lord helps me with graceful speech and speaking life instead of death.
I appreciated seeing how self-control is practiced with every fruit. They are inter-related and not compartmentalized. Thank you for a well thought out discussion to put into practice.
Hey Marilyn, I like how you said, “inter-related and not compartmentalized.” We so often try to put everything in its separate box in the Christian life and life in general. But we lose so much of the connection of God’s truths.
That’s a great point about why self-control is listed last… possibly because we develop it after the others. Great piece, Karen. Self control is often hard, but it’s really important.
Thank you, Jessica. Praying the Holy Spirit does a work in us in every fruit and with self-control in every fruit!
Thank you, Karen, for pointing out that self-control is not done by us, but by the Holy Spirit within us. And like Jessica, I love your stance on why self-control comes in last place with all the Fruits of the Spirit. All the others must be firmly in place in our hearts and minds before we can successfully practice it.
Blessings!
Martha, I definitely see the connection between self-control and all the other fruit of the Spirit. Lord, give us self-control in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness.
whoa, this is a great word on self control and practical application to live out this fruit of the spirit. thank you sharing this!
Glad this encouraged you, Mariel. I want to reflect on and evaluate myself in self-control areas and fruit inspection. 🙂
My prayer for my loved ones today was that they would stay in step with the Spirit. And then this fits right with that. I love it when God does that!
I love when God does that too, Lauren! Lord, help us stay in step with the Spirit.
Karen, Such a powerful and yet practical post!
Thank you, Beckie. We certainly can never muster self-control up on our own. It’s the difference between self and Spirit.
This is an excellent examination of the fruits of the Spirit and especially self-control. This morning, my husband and I experienced a bumping of personalities, each of us irritated and pushing back against the other, so your post is timely. We have to work it out every day, now that we’re together twenty-four-seven in his retirement. We find the need to grow daily, to use self-control, to focus on kindness, and to apply gentleness. We have deliberate ways to exercise self-control. We choose to use kind tones, to embrace throughout the day, and to work out every conflict. This reminded me of even more ways to apply self control in my life.
Melinda, I always appreciate how you often share your own experience with what we’re discussing. These are things most of us have to work out in marriage. I like that you mentioned “tone.” It’s not only what we say, but how we say it. Tone is everything! Lord, help us through the Holy Spirit grow in self-control.
I love how you applied the fruit of the Spirit and contrasted it with our fleshly way of acting and reacting.
Barbara, I pray we learn how to practically apply self-control on this Christian journey with the fruit of the Spirit and in every way.
Self control of when to speak and when not to speak can prevent harsh words and troublesome confrontations. Pausing to pray and ask God for guidance can bring peace.
That’s a good observation, Melissa. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
My tongue betrays me more often than I like to admit. Thanks for this great message, Karen!
Thanks for your comment, Nancy. It’s definitely hard to tame the tongue as James tells us.
I never thought about the placement of self-control in the list of fruit. And I love your observation that this might be because self-control could be a product of cultivating the other 8!
Ava, I hope to cultivate and grow all fruit of the Spirit and particularly practice self-control with the others.
Gonna spend time in meditation today, thinking about the fruit of the Spirit. Thanks so much for the motivation to begin.
We all need that meditation, Michele. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV)
I love how you provided the contrast between the fruits of the spirit and desires of the flesh. We really do need the spirit to empower us to overcome. Great post. Thanks for sharing
Agree, Yvonne. The Spirit is the only One who empowers us to desire and practice self-control and the other fruit!
What a great thought. How we need self control to practice and grow on the others. It one of those traits we use all the time in conjunction with other traits.
Thanks, Theresa. Yes, I like how you said it’s a trait we use in conjunction with other traits!
I love your wisdom regarding self-control, Karen. My thoughts have always been that love and self- control are like bookends that hold all the other fruit of the spirit together. Love is given outwardly to others, while self-control is applied inwardly. The ways of the world are just the opposite, encouraging self- love and controlling others!
Great insight, Karen! I like your thoughts love and self-control are bookends. That’s a good word. Thanks for sharing!
Such a welcome and wonderful post this week Ms. Karen. I pray you’ll forgive my delay in getting to it. In any case; I tend to agree with you; the spiritual gift of self-control is like an extended release tablet. It takes a longer period for it to take effect. What I am learning is that the more I exercise self-control in my life, the stronger it becomes. Much like faith itself. I also believe strongly that self-control is required for other spiritual gifts to increase in our lives. God’s blessings gentle friend.
I like your thoughts on self-control being like a time-relase tablet. “…the more I exercise self-control in my life, the stronger it becomes. Much like faith itself.” Yes!
Karen, thank you for such a blessed lesson on self-control. I noticed it was listed last but I never took much notice as to why. Great points for me to reflect upon. Blessings.
Glad this spoke to you, Paula. And I pray we desire all the fruit in our lives as we allow the Holy Spirit to apply self-control to these areas of spiritual growth.
Self-control truly is central to every other fruit of the Spirit, Karen. I love how you’ve processed through this and brought out biblical and practical nuances that we might have missed without your wisdom coming through! Thanks for sharing this, my friend! I’ll be pinning and tweeting!
Appreciate your kind comment and for sharing, Beth. I share what the Lord is teaching me. And I’m still a work in progress, as we all are, when it comes to growing and cultivating the fruit of the Spirit in my life and Christian journey! God bless!
I recently had a conversation about how without peace & joy we will never be able to exhibit real love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, or self-control. Your expansion on self-control only cements the argument. There is a reason why this list is called the fruit of the spirit not the fruits of the spirit. When we are truly indwelled with the Holy Spirit and allow Him control of our lives we will exhibit much fruit! Thank you for sharing this.
You make such great and valid points, Barb. The list is called “fruit” because they are all interconnected. And I also like how Paul first contrasts the works of the flesh so we see the stark opposite to how the fruit displayed in our lives looks.
Karen, I never considered how much self-control can help us live out the other fruit of the spirit. This is such a practical and insightful post! As others have said, I need to practice better self-control with my tongue . . . which, for me, comes in cultivating gentleness and peace in my heart and thoughts.
Our tongues can sure get us in trouble, Jeanne. Cultivating gentleness and peace seems like a practical way the Holy Spirit can help us speak life and not death…speak kindness and in kind ways.
Love this: “Although self-control begins with the word self, we ourselves can’t nurture it, much less muster up the power to practice it. Because self-control is a fruit of the Spirit.” Don’t you just love all the paradoxes?
Right, Ashley! I was just responding to another comment, perhaps it’s Spirit-control instead of self-control. Thanks for commenting!
Thank you, Karen, for connecting self-control to the other examples of fruit. I know from experience that attempts to muster self-control in my own strength is futile. Thinking of it as a result of other fruits is comforting and leads me to seek them more.
Glad this inspired and encouraged you, Jeannie. I certainly need work in pursuing the fruit of the Spirit and practically applying self-control to each as the Spirit does it in and through me.
Karen, this was so good. Self-control is truly needed in every area of our lives. So grateful that He provides what I lack as soon as I humbly come before Him and ask. Self-control requires such strength and this is the second time today I am being reminded that “when I am weak, then I am strong.” He imparts His strength.
Yes, Joanne, when we are weak…in self-control in practicing the other fruit of the Spirit, He is strong. Maybe we should look at it as Spirit-control. 🙂
I love your insight to apply self-control to ALL the other fruit. I pray for each fruit, but now I see the incredible need for self-control in all of them.
Thank you, Lisa. I pray for self-control in each area of fruit as well!
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