When I Asked God to Send Me a Friend
“I really need a friend.”
Have you ever thought you could really use a friend? Maybe you prayed for the Lord to send you a friend in a new city, job, group or church.
Since our family spent over thirty-five years in full-time church ministry and lived in different towns and states, friendship became somewhat of a lifeline. So I usually prayed for at least one friend at each new place.
Have you ever prayed that the Lord would send you a friend?
Early in our marriage, we moved to a small farm town in a new state. Our daughter was only eighteen months old at the time.
Gracious ladies from the church brought us dinner for a few nights and I unpacked boxes while our daughter napped during the day.
Still, I’ll never forget the Sunday when a young woman approached me after a service. “Do you need anything? Let me know if you need anything.” Her sentiments seemed honest and heartfelt.
I politely thanked her and continued with: No, we are fine.
But as I started to walk away, I felt the Lord nudging me to turn back around and tell her I needed a friend. With the Lord helping me to be brave, I walked toward her: I thought of something I need, I really need a friend.
You know what? We formed a wonderful friendship and kept in touch when my family moved again. It was a God-thing.
Created for Friendship
The enemy wants us to believe the lie that we are “fine” without friends. Or, that you and your family have each other and you don’t need friends in your community.
The enemy wants us to believe the lie that we are “fine” without friends. Or, that you and your family have each other and you don’t need friends in your community. Click To TweetBut it’s not true. God created us for relationship and community. First, the Lord desires that we are in relationship with him. Have you found a friend in Jesus?
God created us for relationship and community. First, the Lord desires that we are in relationship with him. Have you found a friend in Jesus? Click To TweetNext, God intended for us to be in relationship with people. This includes family and friends.
It’s a good thing for a husband and wife to be friends—even best friends. Yet, the Lord never intended it to stop there. Instead, God wants women to make connections with other women and men with other men.
Praying for a Friend
Perhaps it never occurred to you to pray for a friend. But we need friends as much as our kids have this need. Here are some examples of when to pray for a friend.
1. When you move to a new neighborhood.
2. Your family moves to a new town.
3. If you go back into the workforce or start a new job.
4. If you attend a new church.
5. You homeschool your children.
6. When you work from home.
7. If you are in ministry or missions.
8. A friend moves away or exits your life.
This list is not exhaustive, but gives you some ideas of when to pray for a friend.
Listen to your heart, it will know when you need a good friend.
Specific Prayers When You Need a Friend
Here are a few specific prayers.
Lord, thank you that you have called me friend (John 15:15). Help me to cherish my relationship with you above all others. Please send me a friend in our new town who is in relationship with you so we can mutually encourage and build each other up. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
Heavenly Father, let your light shine through me and become a friend to a woman who desperately needs one. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
God, you created us to do life together, you created friendship. Direct my steps to the friends you want in my life. I desire to sharpen someone else as they sharpen me (Proverbs 27:17).
Lord, your word describes friendship as kind, honest, loving, forgiving, and how the “righteous choose their friends carefully” (Proverbs 12:26). Give me the desire and wisdom to strive for this kind of friendship, wherever I am. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
God, you created us to do life together, you created friendship. Direct my steps to the friends you want in my life. I desire to sharpen someone else as they sharpen me (Proverbs 27:17). Click To Tweet
Next Step:
Reflect on if you need to pray for a friend in an area of your life or if you need to pray to be that friend to someone.
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Last week’s article, 5 Breakup Letters to Send for Intimacy with Christ.
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My husband and I have been blessed by friendly neighbors in each community we have lived in. We are thankful to God for those special people who remain friends today even though we have moved far away. Alan and I enjoy welcoming new neighbors and sharing the love of Christ.
Melissa, that sounds like that’s a great ministry for you and Alan in welcoming new neighbors, that can be hard to find these days. God bless!
Thank you,so much for this! This has been on my heart for awhile now! I have many “church friends ” who pray for me and are always there when I need them. But,I have such a longing for a real best friend! I have no siblings, so I feel this need for a spiritual sister, even stronger! Thanks for all you do! The mountains are my happy,peaceful, place,so keep making those videos! I look forward to each one! I hope to be there in October!! Love and prayers for your family!!?❤️🙏❤️
Hi Kim, thanks for your comment. I have felt that exact way before and know there must be many others. I have two sisters that live a little over an hour away but it’s hard for us to get together super often. And agree you can have a lot of church friends, but need someone as a soul sister, another Jesus girl to sharpen you as you sharpen her. Praying for this special friend for you!
You’re so kind about our videos. We love filming and putting out content that people enjoy. Let us know on FB Messenger if you come to the Smokies in October and when. Would be wonderful to meet you!
God bless!
What a great post! I have many friends at church, but I have a chronic illness, and we live in a large city. Getting together outside of church is often difficult, especially when I’m particularly weary from my Systemic Sclerosis. Usually getting together involves me needing to feel well enough for lunch or coffee with one of my church friends.
Your article today made me realize that I need to pursue friendship. My best friend is still back in Michigan. We lived three blocks apart, and so we could walk every day together and talk. I miss her! My friends here are scattered far and wide. None are near. Now that school has started, maybe I should seek one of those mommas to go for a walk or for coffee. This is a challenge to pray about, seeking the Lord’s help here.
Thanks so much, Melinda. While your circumstances are maybe more unique and challenging than others, I believe the Lord will honor your prayers and hear your heart on this matter of friendship for where you are currently in your city, neighborhood, church and health. I will add this to my prayer journal to agree with you in prayer. I know you would make a good friend for one of these mommas and praying something will work out for more friend-time with ladies at church when your health allows.
I’m so blessed with good friends who’ve walked with me through a great deal with me in life. I’m guessing you’re so happy you followed God’s nudging and asked for a friend. Great message, Karen. God bless!
Thank you, Nancy. Even though this friend and I stayed in touch for years after we moved, I don’t know where she is now. Yet, at the time, the Lord sure blessed me with a great friend being so far from family and established friends. Glad you’ve had a group of friends walking alongside you.
As a recovering loner, I’ve realized how much I need friends in the world of all ages and types… and how much I need to BE a friend to others! When things go wrong, I often become a hermit and draw inward, but then I realize I’m no island, God made us to be in relationship, both with Him and with others. Thank you for this inspiring and truthful post!
Jessica, thanks for sharing your story and experience. I’ve heard your sentiments before from others with the same temperament type. But as you so well expressed, the Lord meant for us to develop close relationships with others to help carry our burdens and celebrate the happy parts of life!
We were all created to be in relationship with one another. May God reveal to us potential friends, and may we be aware of those around us who just might need friendship.
Blessings, Karen!
Martha, wouldn’t the world be more of a grim place and struggle without friendships? I like to think of them as Jesus with skin. And I hope to be this to others! Blessings!
A true friend shares our joys and sorrows. The inevitable twists and turns of our lives down the long and winding road that represents our journey are made sweeter and more meaningful by the sharing and caring of a good friend. Rites of passage—marriage, births, deaths, or other important milestones—are marked and honored together.
There’s no doubt that a friend adds to the fullness of life. Authenticity, honesty, and trust are qualities we expect to find in a friend. There’s an understanding that the binding together of people in friendship helps each of us define and realize a meaningful life.
Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Beautifully said, Lisa. Your words powerfully describe how the Lord sends us friends to walk shoulder to shoulder with us as we do life together. Friendships sure make like more meaningful and precious!
Lord, your word describes friendship as kind, honest, loving, forgiving, and how the “righteous choose their friends carefully” (Proverbs 12:26). Give me the desire and wisdom to strive for this kind of friendship, wherever I am. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
I don’t have many true friends, but try to be “friendly” towards most everyone. Unless something causes my spiritual alarms to go off, I can be friends with about anyone, but true friends are hard to find and just as precious. A true friend is the ones you can turn to in the worst of times, and you’ll discover that they’ve been the ones praying from the beginning of your troubles. Christ is absolutely that kind of friend.
Agree, “What a friend we have in Jesus.” Glad although we were once enemies of God, He now calls us friend once we are in Christ. And a phrase from this verse I used in a prayer really spoke to me, “righteous choose their friends carefully” (Proverbs 12:26).
This resonated with me because we moved away an hour away from friendships formed almost thirty years ago. It’s not far for many, but for me, it’s quite the distance because I find traveling difficult after a car accident years ago. I miss those friendships and am learning that intentionality is required to keep them thriving. Thanks for this post, Karen. Blessings!
Cathy, I remember reading about your car accident when you shared about either on one of your blog posts or a comment on one of mine. Yes, we must be intentional to keep friendships vibrant and purposeful in our life. I pray you find a way to stay connected with those friends or make new friends.
The term “friend” is used so loosely today. Just think of what we call connections on Facebook as we collect hundreds or thousands of “friends.” Many years ago, a wise person once told me that if I can count 3 true friends in my life, that I would be rich, indeed. All others are close acquaintances. I’m not sure I agree with that number, but I do agree that true friends are rarer than we realize.
So true, Ava. I pray to develop those good and godly friendships when iron sharpens iron. Thanks for your comment.
years ago after a nasty divorce I asked God to send me someone who would love me. I went on to adopt my youngest son. A short time later I realized how profoundly God had answered my prayer.
How wonderful, Jan. What a sweet and loving story. God created us for relationship and community. God bless!
I know I found myself in this situation often as we moved. Thanks for the great words to pray as we seek Godly friendships. I also I can a good friend to those around me. Thanks Karen
Hey Yvonne, appreciate you sharing your experience. I also pray to be a friend to women who God leads me to.
What a fantastic message about friendships. I so appreciate you sharing this blessed message with a wonderful lesson to be had.
Visiting today from G&T
Thanks for visiting, Paula. Happy to hear this spoke to you. Grateful the Lord created us for friendships that help us along the Christian journey.
Karen,
I needed this article. I am dragging my feet at setting down roots and making lasting friendships in our new town. We now live in what used to be our second home, so we treated it like a retreat. However, now we live here, and I need people to do life with. Yet, I have lovely friends from home, and I know the value of friendship. You have encouraged me today.
Thank you for sharing with Grace & Truth Link-Up. Sharing all over the place.
Maree
Hey Maree, I’m so glad this spoke to your heart. It does sound like you could use at least one new friend in your new area now that you are there to stay. I hope and pray along with you for a godly woman who will sharpen you as you sharpen her!
I love this, Karen. I’ve often wanted a friend, but, sadly, it’s never occurred to me to pray for one. I’ve fallen into the thought process that at my age it’s too late to make new friends. Most people around where I live are close friends with high school or college friends. This is a wonderful reminder that I’m never too old to make a new friend.
Hey Ashley, yes, that’s true, we are never too old to make new friends. Friends can be so supportive during any life season. Thanks for your comment.
I have been looking for the truth for years. Ten years ago, everything was destroyed due to an accident. I became alone I talked to God for seven years. Three years ago, he took me to a place where I got to know a new truth. I found the answer to some things that I thought were not right. In these three years, I seek God for my lost existence. But I have been in the desert for ten years. A desert that I ask God that its time does not reach forty years. Anyway, I am also human and I am tired. My God, take me from the desert, from wandering, from displacement, to a destination that I can call home! I saw the sunrise, but the distance to the sun is long and the path is long. Without any means or companions. Lord, give me friendship in the midst of this evil world so that I can see your light in it. To get my life again. So that I can continue the path that I started 3 years ago. Pray for me in this dark world. So that the devil does not weaken my legs and I can continue the way I started. Amen
I’m sorry to hear of your current desert and struggles. I pray for the Lord to stay close as He always does and to bring you godly friends to walk alongside you in life.
I have prayed for friends in the past but to be honest, have not done that as of late. Thank you for the nudge!
You’re welcome, Joanne. It’s something we all need reminding to do–pray for friends.
[…] Last week’s article, When I Asked God to Send Me a Friend. […]
We all need a few really good friends in our lives! Thanks for sharing ways we can cooperate with God in seeking friendships.
Agree 100%, Lisa. And I believe God wants to get involved in the process. Blessings!
I remember when I first prayed this pray and God answered in a beautifully unexpected way. She wasn’t what I pictured in my mind but was everything I needed. We have remained friends for over 30 years.
That prayer taught me that nothing is too insignificant to pray about. God hears and He cares.
I have been acutely aware of my great need for friends since I was a child. I’ve prayed for a good 25 years for close friendships, yet God only answers those prayers with acquantainces… I have been faithful on my end to try to be a friend to everyone I come in contact with, to try new things, get out of my comfort zone, say yes to the opportunities God brings me, but I’m now struggling with deep depression. I know how important community is, I know that we were created to be in community with other humans and not just Jesus, I have prayed, I have been faithful, and I am so very tired now, and so very disappointed. I have had seasons like this before, where I have simply told God that I am done trying, because I’ve prayed for His strength to keep going, and He hasn’t given it. I definitely can’t do anything in my own strength. I’ve told Him if He is serious enough about community being important, if it really is a need, then He’ll provide it, as He says He’ll provide for all our needs. Yet He still hasn’t given me friends.
Hi Rachel, first, thanks for your comment and being real and authentic in your feelings. I’m sorry for your struggle to have friends and gain community. It’s hard to understand why things don’t always turn out like we hoped or prayed for. My example in this article, is an instance where God provided me with that one good friend at the church so far away from our family and loved ones. Still, there have been times where I didn’t really have the community I had hoped for. One good thing about ministry is the church is normally a great place to find connection and community right off the bat in a new town. But even every church experience is full of ups and downs and struggles because it’s full of imperfect people including me.
Several things I cling to in times like you have shared:
1. I’m thankful Jesus calls me friend (John 15:15) I know He is with me and I am never alone even though I may feel lonely. I concentrate on my relationship with Him as I continue to pray and seek good, godly friends.
2. I trust God’s timing really is perfect (in all things), He knows best, and His will is always for my good and His glory.
3. I walk in authenticity, portray the real me to others in grace and truth.
4. I lay down my agenda and pick up His will as I continue to seek His presence first and foremost-Hallowed (Holy) is His name. (The Lord’s prayer.)
5. Above all, I know my hope rest in Him alone. My job is to trust His promises, Word, and ways, and His job is everything else-He does the heavy lifting.
God bless, Rachel. I will join you in praying over community with you.